I like multitasking. Stay tuned right here for entertainment aplenty. Because it has to be entertaining, right? Right? RIGHT?
8:38 p.m. Just so you know, I blame [name withheld to protect the totally not innocent] for this exercise in public humiliation. Totally his fault.
9:00 p.m. Here I am, me and Brian Williams, and he may be on TV, but I have bourbon. Do you have bourbon, Williams? I ask you.
9:02 p.m. No cheering, y’all.
9:04 p.m. Wall Street/Main Street. Aaaaaand drink!
9:06 p.m. Maybe it’s shallow of me to point this out, but John McCain really has no upper lip. None whatsoever. Also when he smiles it never looks like he means it. Related? Perhaps. Perhaps.
9:08 p.m. “This isn’t the beginning of the end of this crisis. It’s the end of the beginning.” — McCain. That just blew my mind.
9:11 p.m. OBAMA! I like your tie. Stop Wall Street/Main Street. Otherwise I’ll be wasted by 9:30 p.m.
9:15 p.m. McCain’s tie makes me think of candy canes. He just pulled out a pen. Of whoop-ass.
9:17 p.m. This has nothing to do with the debates but I just burped really loud. It tasted of chicken enchiladas.
9:18 p.m. John McCain never won Miss Congeniality.
9:20 p.m. Here’s the important question. Remember when people said that they would have a beer with GWB and that’s why they voted for him? This time around, let’s think about which presidential candidate we’d rather make out with. Obama or McCain? Who would you rather make out with?
9:22 I would totally make out with Obama.
9:24 They festoon bills with Christmas ornaments? Senate, you so crazy!
9:27 Bourbon, I love you.
9:29 Why the fuck is “liberal” a dirty word?
9:32 Lehrer, you so sassy!
9:34 Really really sassy!
9:37 Orgy? Where?
9:38 He said “swallow”.
9:38 continued McCain is really proud of never having been Miss Congeniality. Why must we hate on Sandra Bullock so much? Should I admit that I will watch that movie every time it’s on cable? Because I totally will. You think I’m gorgeous.
9:45 Sorry, I got distracted by [name withheld to protect the totally not innocent]. He keeps calling me a heathen. Meanie.
9:51 I bet Obama wouldn’t blame me for his typos. Unlike [name withheld to protect the totally not innocent].
10:00 Is it normal not to be able to feel your teeth? If you don’t pay attention to anything else in this post, please answer this question.
10:03 Fuck! Iran! I’m going to run out of booze at this point!
10:04 How many times are you going to say that you’ve proposed a league of democracies, McCain? Whatever, Andy.
10:05 Sorry, I bet i can’t explain what “Andy” means right now. Just trust me, that former note was HIIIIIILARIOUS.
10:12 I’m officially drunk! Go me!
10:18 I don’t even know what’s going on right now.
10:20 I can’t feel my face.
whatever I don’t even know what I was going to write right now but aren’t you totally impressed with my total lack of typos? I am so fucking awesome. I apologize for all the swearing, really. It’s just that when I drink too much I swear a lot. And also get somewhat belligerent. Who wants to fight me? HUH>
10:25 What if crickets ate my face
10:26 John McCain makes me cackle like a crazy woman.
10:31 McCain likes to call Obama naive. Bitch.
1-33 Wha’t's happening Im drunk. Fellow who I am anot calling out in public because he said I cant is making funof me. He is so mean. I have to pee.
1035 Obama! You and I hacve so much in common! My dad is immigrant and I have an unpronounceable name too (we shou;ld be BFF). Oh mygod thank goodness that McCain was able to get in the POW angle. Thank goodness it’s over. I AM SO DRUNKN” right now. I love you.
11:14 Okay it is over. I am so drunk. I just took my dog outside and now I am back and I am talking to [this person whose name I promised not to disclose] about stars. It’s nice. Except not we are totally talking about something else. It is the way of conversation. Was there a debate? What happened? I was distracted. Boys are trouble.