1. Earlier today (before my day got all annoyingly busy) I was in my house over by the front window, mainly because I was on the way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and I looked over my shoulder and saw a dude standing on my lawn. I thought “He’s going to knock on my door and he’s either working for a campaign or he’s going to evangelize me.” Though really they’re much the same thing, no? So — and this all took about a second, the thought turning into action — I ran to the other end of my house and hunkered down so I wouldn’t be visible through any windows and waited out the knocking. And while I am, on one hand, proud of my self-preservational instincts (I mean, as much as I’d love talking about the state of my eternal soul with a stranger while I’m still in my pajamas and I haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet, I don’t think I would actually love talking about the state of my eternal soul with a stranger while I’m still in my pajamas and I haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet, and I know he was going to talk to me about the state of my eternal soul because I later found that he left me some literature containing the truth about Jesus), I thought, once I stood back up, “Oh no, I have turned into an insane hermit woman.” Seriously. I’m well on my way to a life of housedresses and falling-down socks and telling the neighbor kids to get off of my lawn and then going back inside and watering my 9,000 houseplants (they will have to be a substitute for cats, since I am oh so very allergic to cats). Awesome.
2. I had something I was definitely going to write here, and in fact it was the whole reason I was writing this post, but then I thought “Oh, I should mention that other thing” and while I was writing that, I forgot what I was definitely going to write. Maybe it’ll come back to me.
3. Am listening to a track from the new Ryan Adams album that comes out next week. Hm.
4. I’ve been sitting here for several minutes trying to think of the thing I was definitely going to write but I have a feeling that whatever it was is gone forever. Happens all the time. I’m sure it was very very brilliant.
5. Oh wait. I remember. Okay. Not really brilliant, but I have a question. A couple of weeks ago I was at a bookstore (because of course I needed more books) and I was in the restroom and the girl in the stall next to me was on the phone. She was talking about how this other store was going out of business so EVERYTHING was ON! SALE!!! and I thought “Really?” So my question to you is this: Really? Is it okay to be on the phone while peeing?
6. Aren’t you so glad I remembered? Why am I not editing this to erase the record of my forgetfulness? I don’t know either. You should know by now that I never promised to make any sense.
No. No no no.
No.
Posted by Brittney | October 24, 2008, 1:12 ammy question to you is: why in the world have you numbered this post into 6 points? why? like why WHY??
potty phones=ew
Posted by manu | October 24, 2008, 1:17 amNo. Absolutely not. Even worse if you’re a man (somehow). One of the bosses at my old place of work used to talk to customers on the phone while doing his stuff (you could stand outside the men’s and hear his half of the conversation quite clearly).
Posted by Mirthful | October 24, 2008, 1:33 amcat lady corner is calling… i can’t wait to be that crazy old hermit lady. although “cat lady corner” may need to be renamed since i don’t think any of the folks i’ve invited intend to have cats. maybe meg.
i already ignore the doorbell completely and totally if i’m not expecting someone. you’re right. it’s mere steps to off-black knee-highs and hollering at kids.
Posted by kelsi | October 24, 2008, 7:36 amDid you ask her for the name of the other store?
I ignore people knocking at the door, phones ringing, people standing three feet away saying my name…
Posted by Peter | October 24, 2008, 8:14 amYou know, I have to admit that I found nothing quite as dastasteful as the former friend who had no problem at all walking into his bathroom and releiving himself in the middle of a phone call because he had the luxury of a cordless phone.
The acoustics of bathrooms are such, they amplify sound if anything. It used to remind me of seeing a peeing handsome cab horse on the street.
Besides aren’t cellphones already far too invasive of our daily lives?
I imagine it’s one of the reasons cell phone insurance companies won’t replace a water damaged phone more than once over the lifetime of a contract. If you keep dropping the thing in the toilet, you’ll have to pay the price.
Posted by mister_pj | October 24, 2008, 10:02 amGod no. I hate when people do that.
Posted by Preeti | October 24, 2008, 2:15 pmWhat’s fun is when you start grunting, then yelling curses, followed by doing all of the above while pounding on the stall walls, all in an effort to relieve yourself. As soon as you hear them hang up, you stop, of course.
Posted by You can call me, 'Sir' | October 24, 2008, 2:31 pm“i” before “e,” “i” before “e,” “i” before “e,” when will I learn!
Posted by mister_pj | October 24, 2008, 7:26 pm