Last night, I was trying to fall asleep (this is more difficult sometimes than others) and I couldn’t because I thought “You know, people don’t say ‘flummoxed’ enough.” And then I started thinking of other words I wish I heard more, which turned into a series of thoughts about words I like and words I dislike and I figured I might as well write about it. This is by no means a comprehensive list, because I get all riled up about words (“riled” — love that) and there are so many that I feel something about, but these are the ones I thought of. So here we are. Words. Hurrah!
Words I Love:
Gallivanting — I love this word. I love it as something to say and I love it as a concept. Sometimes you need to gallivant, you know? Whether or not I’m defining that as “to go about usually ostentatiously or indiscreetly with members of the opposite sex,” or “to travel, roam, or move about for pleasure,” I won’t say, but still. Gallivanting!
Plethora — I don’t even know what to write here, except I just said “plethora” to myself twelve times in a row. I just really like to say “plethora” a lot.
Vile — I love to say this one, too. When I say it, it tends to come out slightly Southern-accented, I think. I’ve tried to listen to the way I say it so many times that it’s stopped making any sense to me. I hate things that are vile, like raw tomatoes. They are VILE. But I sure do love saying “vile.” It’s one of those things.
Fuck — Yes, I swear like a sailor. But this is just such a good word, and it works on so many levels. I can’t really think of a more versatile word in the English language, and for that alone, it’s something special. I’ll leave you to think of its various uses, and there really are so many. Combine its versatility with the satisfactory nature of saying it, and it may actually be perfect.
Zipper — There are many Z-words I like: zest, zeal, zephyr. But there’s something about this one that’s kind of fun. Zipper! It sounds like… a zipper! How great is THAT?
Gobsmacked — You know what it’s like to be completely gobsmacked? Is there a better word for that? No.
Whisk — I like the way it feels to say this word. Whisk. It feels like motion and softness. Maybe that even makes sense.
Lascivious — It actually feels slightly lascivious to say it. Awesome.
Scoundrel — Ah. I use this one as a term of endearment. Sometimes there’s no better way to say “I love you” than to call a guy a scoundrel. This is probably why I don’t work for Hallmark.
Zydeco — What is not to love about this word? I remember back in my Pleiad days, I had to lay out a page that included a story about a musical group… Nathan Williams and The Zydeco Cha-Chas. THE ZYDECO CHA-CHAS! It’s amazing! I know!
Honorable Mentions: rapscallion, shaman, bliss, sesquipedalian, archipelago, lush, vivacious, defenestrate, besotted, haberdashery, twist, trochaic, superfluous, syncopation, lepidopteran.
Words I Hate:
Panties — I despise this word. I hate it so much. If you use this word, we can’t be friends. I’m not kidding. Let’s make it disappear.
Masticate — Ew.
Pianist — Come on, seriously? We have to say it like that?
Gristle — This word grosses me out, and I can’t even say it aloud without feeling like I’m going to dry heave for the next ten minutes. Visceral hatred.
Whinge — I have a problem with most words with the “nge” ending. They feel gross. Really, “whinge” is no worse than others, like “minge” or “mange” or even “orange” and I like orange as a color and as a food item, but couldn’t they have come up with a better name for it?
Moist — I think this is a popular word to hate. (I have a friend and this is his last name. Sorry.) I think I realized that I hated the word when I was stringing for a newspaper for extra cash when I was in college and I wrote about an event where this guy was being honored, and I included a line about his tear-filled eyes, and the editor changed it to moist eyes and I was like “Thanks for ruining it.”
Fecund — This word is nasty. It sounds like it should be about rotting. I don’t think the meaning is nasty, and I know it often has a feminine connotation, but… gross. Just say it. Fecund. Disgusting.
Wig — I don’t know. I can’t see this word without thinking of poor hygiene. I don’t know why, because it doesn’t exactly make sense, but I never promised to make sense, so there it is.
Phlegm — Is there anything to like about this word? It looks gross, it feels gross to say it, and phlegm itself is gross. So… yeah. Boo to phlegm.
Bundt — This is one of those words I can’t say without feeling like I have a speech impediment.
Honorable Mentions: I’m not going to come up with any because you know, I don’t want to think about this anymore. Wait:cruft.
Favorite Words in Other Languages: One of the things I love about having at least a passing vocabulary in other languages is that sometimes when the English word isn’t good enough, I have another language to turn to, as the other word conveys what I mean better than English does. And sometimes I just like the sound or feel of a word.
Querido (Spanish: dear, darling) — It’s just better this way.
Cariño (Spanish: affection) — Like querido, it’s just better this way.
Volver (Spanish: to return) — In this case, I’m fond of the present indicative conjugations: vuelvo, vuelves, vuelve, volvemos, volvéis, vuelven. I don’t know. I just like it.
Pájaro (Spanish: bird) — It’s a perfect word for a bird.
Fuoco (Italian: fire) — Vaguely dirty sounding.
Bruschetta — Well, you know. Bruschetta. I just like to say this word. I like the way it sounds. Except for when people ruin it by pronouncing it like brush-etta. Don’t do that.
Cinque (Italian: five) — I love saying this word. It feels like it should always have an exclamation point attached. Uno, due, tre, quattro, CINQUE! sei, etc.
Adesso (Italian: now) — Adesso! It’s another one of those exclamation point words, which I suppose might be an effect of learning a song, the name of which I forget, but it included this bit that was all “Stanotte! Adesso! Sì!” (Or rather, “Siii-iiii-iiiiiiiiii!”) So, you know.
دﺠاج (Arabic: chicken) — Yes, I love the word for chicken. Djaj. Hells to the yes, nephew.
ممتاز (Arabic: excellent) — You can totally Bill-and-Ted this word. Mumtaaaaaaaaaaz.
Honorable Mentions: muchedumbre, desafortunadamente, azul, cerezo, lloviendo, scarpe, sbagliare, cazzo, formaggio, حناء الليل ازدحام.
I love that I could totally see your thought process and progress on the list of honorable mention favorites.
I also dearly love the word cinque, but you know that.
I know there are lost of others that I love, but I can’t think of any at the moment.
Posted by wifey | September 18, 2009, 3:08 pmTomatoes are not vile. Everything else is perfect.
Posted by Andy C | September 18, 2009, 3:09 pmNathan & The Zydeco Cha Chas were one of the first bands I booked for my festival years ago.
Speaking of Favorite Words In Other Languages, one French word that comes to mind (since you included its Spanish cousin) is oiseau… bird. (Pronounced wah-zoh)
Posted by patrick | September 18, 2009, 3:16 pmTomatoes are okay.
Okra, now that’s vile. And snails as food.
Posted by Brett | September 18, 2009, 3:22 pmI went from nodding in complete agreement with the favorites to laughing so hard I had moist eyes at the descriptions of your hated words. Except whinge. Because I like that word. Whinge.
Posted by hexapetala | September 18, 2009, 5:22 pmI’m also fond of ‘tenebrous.’ And ‘pffft,’ which may not actually be a word, but is a great sound to make.
Posted by greg | September 18, 2009, 5:33 pmI totally say plethora a lot. Like, a lot a lot. And I need to use flummoxed and gobsmacked more. Just because.
Posted by SA | September 18, 2009, 10:10 pmwifey — Once I got started thinking of them, the rest kind of started flowing. Also, cinque!
Andy — They are too. Unless they’ve been turned into some other form, like pesto or salsa.
Patrick — Small world. I don’t remember anything else about that article (maybe they were coming to campus or something?) but the phrase “zydeco cha chas” has stuck in my head lo these many years. Love that. “Oiseau” is a lovely word.
Brett — Now, okra… I love that stuff.
hexapetala — Ha. Other than the “nge” ending, which I really seem to dislike (except in the case of “expunge” because I like that word), I actually believed “whinge” was a typo every time I saw it until I was maybe 25.
Greg — “Tenebrous” is nice. So is “tenuous” for that matter, even though it has nothing to do with anything, but I just thought of it. I’m a big fan of “Oh, pshaw,” myself.
SA — I love “plethora” especially in the phrase “a veritable plethora” which just adds to the fun, as far as I’m concerned.
Posted by jamelah | September 20, 2009, 9:07 amI totally say flummoxed.
Posted by Cheryl | September 21, 2009, 8:29 amI love this list. “Panties” is one of the top five words I hate. I hate it so much I refuse to use it.
When I think of “vile” I imagine it with a British accent, but now I can hear it your way too and that’s awesome.
And yes, “fecund” is a very nasty word. They need to replace it. I don’t know who “they” are exactly, or I’d write them a strongly worded letter about it.
Posted by Fraulein N | September 21, 2009, 10:20 amgambol
Posted by Kevin | September 21, 2009, 11:15 amI like to say “Malfeasance.”
It’s best if you say it with an evil grin and draw out the “eee” sound.
I fucking love to gallivant.
Posted by Bill Ectric | September 21, 2009, 3:51 pmIn French I like:
gigantesque – gigantic
hallucinant – staggering (not hallucinating)
poubelle – a lovely word for garbage can
bougie – candle
Posted by Michael Norris | September 21, 2009, 7:18 pmI just discovered you tonight, and have been reading you for hours.
You’re the funniest, smartest writer I’ve read in years. In a way, you’re kind of a smoothie made out of Dorothy Parker, Hunter S Thompson and Michigan rust – with a dash of apple juice.
Okay, you’ve done words you hate. How about phrases? My least favorite is “yeah, whatever” followed by anything that is prefaced by the word “Dude”.
Posted by Tobbler Lugo II | September 21, 2009, 10:19 pmphilology
Posted by Kevin | September 22, 2009, 1:45 amTobbler, that is the most perfect description of Jamelah that I’ve ever heard. I don’t really get the “Michigan rust” part – that must be a regional thing. But I have often said that if I were single, 25 years younger, and not queer, she would be the girl for me.
Posted by Bill Ectric | September 22, 2009, 11:00 amOh, wait, does “Michigan rust” have anything to do with toe-jam?
Posted by Bill Ectric | September 22, 2009, 1:26 pmNo, Bill, nothing to do with toe jam. I don’t know what I meant by it either. I suppose I think Jamelah is from Michigan (?) and I was trying to find the equivalent regional slang for “grounded in reality”. I mean, if she was from New Hampshire I suppose it would be “New Hampshire granite” or if she was from New Mexico it would be “Santa Fe blue corn”. Fortunately, she’s from Michigan. Feel free to suggest other idiotic state’s analogies. Fuck, I hope she is from Michigan.
Posted by Tobbler Lugo II | September 23, 2009, 5:38 pmCheryl — Yay, flummoxed!
Fraulein N — Do you think if I started a petition to remove p*nties from the English language, I would get anywhere?
Kevin — Yes, I do like a good gambol.
Bill — It would be even better if you twirled your handlebar mustache while saying it. If you had a handlebar mustache.
Michael — Hi. I wish I knew French, but I don’t. I can kind of figure it out based on my knowledge of other Romance languages, but in a very halting, awkward way. Maybe I’ll learn it someday… I can’t possibly know too many languages. I can say “I am a gigantic duck” in French, which I can’t imagine ever really needing to know for any reason whatsoever, but I know it all the same. All that to say, yes, “gigantesque” is a great word.
Tobbler — Well, thanks. I am a fan of Dorothy Parker, Hunter S. Thompson and rust. Not sure I own enough guns to be like HST, but a girl can dream. “Dude” is probably one of my most over-used words, but I love it. Perhaps this is a holdover from The Big Lebowski, I don’t know. But I call everybody “dude” — my mom, my friends, (when I had one) my boss. It’s maybe a problem. My least favorite phrases are work jargon, like “reinvent the wheel” or “build capacity” or “collaborative partnerships” (isn’t a partnership, by nature, collaborative?) because it’s all painfully dumb.
Kevin — How about “phrenology”?
Bill, again — Am I supposed to respond to the ones where you’re not really talking to me?
Bill, again, again — Ew.
Tobbler, again — You’re safe. I’m from Michigan.
Posted by jamelah | September 23, 2009, 7:26 pmDude, I’m so glad you’re from Michigan.
Simply awesome.
(Another of my least favorite phrases.)
I’m from NYC but have lived in London for years. So I never hear the word “panties” – it’s knickers all the way, which in America conjures up images of golfers in plaid tweed suits. But not here.
You know my real name: google it and maybe send me an email?
Posted by Tobbler Lugo II | September 23, 2009, 8:16 pmsorry, that sounds kind of snotty.
anyway, I have that gmail filter working too, can’t do any math problems, so even if you sent me the Divine Comedy, I would still be trying to divide 658 by 12 and get my message back while the rest of Florence was gallivanting around the local Wendy’s bruschetta bar
Posted by Tobbler Lugo II | September 23, 2009, 9:33 pm