day three: heaven

From judih:

I’m going to take these one at a time.

What do you hope goddess will say when you ring the bell at the pearly gates?

Hmmm. “Welcome. Yes, your room does come with a fully-stocked mini-bar.”

or alternately:
what do you think the goddess will be wearing?

I don’t suppose it matters much, but I hope it’s not any of that cliched long flowy stuff. Dieties in muumuus is so last millennium.

what will her voice sound like?

I remember once, and I can’t recall what show or what channel I was watching, but I remember very clearly seeing Marianne Faithfull talking about Aretha Franklin and she said that Aretha Franklin had the voice of God. I see no reason to argue with this. Maybe I saw this on VH1 or maybe I hallucinated it, but either way, I think that’s fair. It was right around the time when I saw Alice Cooper saying that the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever was one of the best albums of all time. Yes, my head is an encyclopedia of uselessness. But back to the point. So. Aretha Franklin’s voice. I think yes. And if so, perhaps that clears up the wardrobe issue:

will there be accompanying music and is it something on your ipod at the moment?

Despite all this Aretha talk, wouldn’t it be totally sweet if Heaven Radio played a lot of Beck? Maybe I just thought of that because I happen to be listening to Beck right now. Even though this is not the song I happen to be listening to at present, you want to know what line just went through my head right now? I’ll tell you. I just imagined standing at the pearly gates and hearing Beck crooning “I wanna get with you/ And your sister/ I think her name’s Debra.” That reminds me! (I know Judih is used to my ADD.) One night earlier this year I was in a bar talking to this guy, and we ended up having this very intense, heated discussion about Beck (I can have an intense, heated discussion about anything) and then THIS SONG CAME ON. It was like MAGIC. And we were sort of in love for about five whole minutes, but I snapped out of it when I paused and thought “I wonder how much of this is due to beer bourbon goggles.” He left a little while later and my friend was all, “Are you going home with him?” and I think I said something really smart like “BUH!” and then I played some darts.

I have absolutely no idea what the point of that was.

are there pearly gates?

Maybe. I’ve always had a hard time picturing them. Are they encrusted with round cultured pearls or is it more like a pearlescent overlay? I don’t know.

if so, are they available on etsy?

I wonder what the shipping costs would be on something like that.

do you remember when art garfunkel was mayor of new york?

DO I EVER!

if so, were those the days?

It was a utopia nearly as magical as that time when Keith Richards opened his own amusement park. (To anybody who doesn’t get that: sorry you missed it.)

I think I’m skipping the bit about the power teaching, because that video was too energetic for me.