Feb 22 2003
89581070
you know…
one of the reasons i love computers is that they make it okay to be indecisive. for example, i’d been writing a list of reasons i am most assuredly going to die alone, but i changed my mind about that, and so, with the touch of a button, the whole thing was gone. man, that rocks. you can’t do that in actual conversation, i mean, as much as i wish it were possible, there’s no way to say something out loud to someone and then erase it. even though that would totally kick ass.
anyway, like i said, i did come to the conclusion today that i am going to die alone. and i’m not sure what bothers me about this more… the fact that i will have an eleanor rigby-esque death, or if it’s the fact that i’m not even particularly bothered by this notion.
but, while i am on the subject of my solitary life and subsequent passing, i have to say that i am reminded of a vision i once had for my life. i wanted to be the crazy old lady. i used to joke about being the crazy old lady in the housedress who stands on her porch waving a broom and yelling at the neighbor kids to stop trampling her begonias, but i really think that’s not the kind of crazy old lady i want to be. i think i’ll have to dress in black and wear lots of funky jewelry and smoke a pack a day. you know, because by the time i’m old, they will have decided that smoking is actually good for you. smoking, eating red meat, and watching lots of t.v. someday will all be considered healthy things to do. except minus the red meat part. i don’t really care about that either way, because i’m not a big fan of cow.
