Dec 29 2004
the year in review part the first: resolutions
As I sat here, listening to Portishead on the ol’ iPod (except it’s new — thanks, Mom!), contemplating what to write on this here blog, I realized that Holy New Year, Batman! 2005 is starting, like, Saturday. So, I made a decision: for the final week of 2004, I will do what most everyone else is doing. Yes, I will talk about the year almost gone. Except (and I can’t guarantee this, but I’ll try) with more snark. I thought I would start things off by writing about how I have failed at nearly every single on of my new year’s resolutions, because nothing makes me feel like a winner more than failure. It’s true. I’m different that way.
Right, so, here is my list of resolutions for 2004, complete with the truth about how I did with each of them. I know you can’t wait.
- resolution #1: i will outsmart — wait, no — outstupid my nemesis.
Well, I did give this one a shot, but really, there’s only so much stupid I can go for before my brain curls up in the fetal position and lies whimpering in a dark corner of my cranium. In short, I tried, then gave up before I had an aneurysm. - resolution #2: i will find regular, gainful employment.
Well, I did this one. The job ends in 7 1/2 weeks (which kind of freaks me out, even though I love unemployment oh so much), but it was a regular job, so hooray. - resolution #3: i will bring the word “froward” back from its archaic resting place and put it back into the regular vocabulary of the masses. yes. Unless people start using “froward” en masse in the next few days, I’ll have to go with “um, nope.”
- resolution #4: i will try maybe replying to the email i receive. like, sometimes.
Didn’t really do so great with this one. In fact, I’m actually doing worse, because now I’m not even opening all the mail I get. Eh, there’s always next year. - resolution #5: i will watch more westerns.
Uh, I think I watched two westerns during 2004. I can’t remember what one of them was, but I did watch The Searchers last week, so there’s that. And I can’t say for sure, but I think two westerns is more than I watched in 2003, so I guess I fulfilled this one. I can do better though, because you know, John Wayne is totally sweet. - resolution #6: i will read more books.
Well, if half reading a book and then getting busy and forgetting about it and then never finishing it counts, I still didn’t read more books than I did in 2003. Whoops. - resolution #7: i will find a reason to make creme brulee. and if i can’t find a reason, i will make it anyway.
I don’t know what my problem was when I was making these resolutions, but no, I didn’t make any fucking creme brulee, and I feel totally fine about this. - resolution #8: i will walk more.
Heh. - resolution #9: i will write in an actual journal made with actual paper again.
I did really well with this until around August or so, and then I’m not sure what happened, but I guess I just had better things to do, or something. - resolution #10: i will finally get around to my world takeover.
Sure, sure. I’ve been working on it. And by “working on it” I mean “thinking ‘if I ruled the world, I bet I could get a car whose steering wheel didn’t squeak like an angry gerbil.’” Right on.
So there you have it. Coming tomorrow: something else.
