jamelah.net

1. Songs in outline form might be my new favorite thing. I’ve always had a problem with including too much information in my outlines, but anyway here it is — my outline of the greatest song ever — “Like A Virgin” - Madonna:

Before you

I didn�t know how lost I was
I was beat
incomplete
I�d been had
I […]

To my grandmother, one of the most fun things in the world is asking me when I’m getting married. I’ve gotten used to this, and so when it comes from her, I shrug it off flippantly and change the subject. But lately, I’ve noticed that my matrimonial status has become fascinating conversation fodder for other […]

(and other stories)
About a week ago, when I was watching what may very well be the best show on television (that’s right, I’m talking about What Not To Wear), I happened to be paying attention to the latest T.G.I. Friday’s commercial. You know, the one where there are three guys sitting at a table […]

SHORTS!!!
I’m gonna wear them forever, even if the weather is mild if someone holds a gun to my head.
…
Well, I can’t be the only one who makes up lyrics to these ridiculous songs.

I have this weird habit of fixating on a single song and listening to it over and over until I think my brain might melt and come oozing out of my ears. I don’t do this all the time. In fact, it’s usually only when I’m in the middle of what can only be […]

Yesterday, I was standing in line at the grocery store in front of this guy who looked exactly the way I imagine Satan looks. If Satan wears Adidas, that is, which I’m sure he very well may.

Well. I knew that I had to get another design up soon, since the banner says “winter time” and spring begins on Sunday (though someone needs to send a memo to the weather, because I’m looking out of my window and it’s snowing like a bastard. However a bastard snows.) Anyway, nothing […]

Earlier today, I said to Caryn, “Last night when I was in Wal-Mart, I saw this entire shelf of Peeps and I thought of you.” Because, well, the girl is a maniac, maniac for the Marshmallow Peep. And because I was oh, so insanely tired today, and I fight off tiredness like a […]

1. Wear green earrings.
2. Have dinner with friends.
a. A cute waiter helps.
b. No, really.
c. Orgasmically good dessert doesn’t hurt, either.
d. Seriously.
3. Drinks.
4. Go to Wal-Mart so friend can buy shampoo, and get momentarily depressed about the fact that in 10 years, you’ll be buying crap like Revita-Lift […]

America, you are so wrong right now. Stop doing this to me. JUST STOP IT.