jamelah.net

So, today after having lunch with my grandmother, I was backing out of her driveway to begin my journey home when I felt something that can only be described as BAM! My first thought was “What the fuck?” Then I looked over at my mother, who was crying, and thought, “What the fuck?” Then I realized: I had just been in a car accident. Logically, my next thought was “Oh, fucking hell.” The guy whose truck I had backed into was standing beside my car (I will be referring to him as Cletus, because even if that’s not his name, I think it fits — he was wearing Dickies overalls and he had four teeth) and he was saying “she just backed right into me, didn’t you?” I said nothing, because I was sure that if I opened my mouth, all I’d be able to say would be “fuck” and I figured that might be inappropriate.

I called the police, then pulled my car back into my grandmother’s driveway. My mom got out of the car and inspected the damage and I continued sitting there, thinking “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck fuck,” or something similar. Finally, I worked up the nerve to get out of my car and stand in my grandmother’s garage. “Did you see the back of your car?” my mother asked. “I don’t even want to fucking look at it,” I replied. But then when I turned around, I could see chunks of my vehicle in the street, and I thought, well, I’m sure you can guess.

Cletus approached me to inform me that his traveling companion (wife? girlfriend?) had been burned pretty badly by some cappuccino and then he launched into a monologue about how accidents sometimes happen and he was thanking the good lord above for… something. I’m not sure because I had to tune him out because I just needed some quiet and HE WOULD NOT STOP TALKING. He seemed pretty nervous. I figure this is because I never saw him coming which makes me think that he must’ve been speeding like a (ahem) motherfucker. They took Mrs. Cletus away on a stretcher, and so if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll get sued.

Anyway, I think I’m okay, even though everything in my body hurts but I don’t want to go to the hospital because I can’t afford to since I don’t have insurance and I’m having a fabulous hysterical fit wherein I am simultaneously laughing and crying and I hate everything although I guess I should be grateful because it could’ve been worse.

Here are a couple of shots of the back of my car:

The rest of my car is probably still in the street in front of my grandma’s house, though my mom was nice enough to carry the really big chunks of disembodied vehicle into my grandmother’s garage.

So anyway, that’s been my Sunday so far. Anybody got a better story?

Trackback URI | Comments RSS