May 29 2005
a couple of things before heading out
Every year, without fail, I get sick of having a website. In truth, I’m sure everyone who has a wesbite gets sick of having a website from time to time, because it’s probably a side-effect of maintaining a long-running project. But as always, instead of just disappearing without a trace, I’m going to leave a note. Because I’m like that. So there.
First of all, I just remembered this morning that my blog is over 3 years old. I always forget your birthday, blog, and then when I remember, I always go on sabbatical. I’ll probably also be a bad parent, if I ever get around to parenting.
Second of all (and this has been building up over time), I’m pretty tired of the internet. I’m tired of e-mail, tired of stylesheets, tired of words on screens. I don’t want to think of witty things to write (I’m tired of being witty). I think it’s time I went for more walks and long, pointless drives. I’m going to read some of the books that have been waiting for me. Do more with my friends. Get a tan.
Since graduating school (lo, these many years ago), I’ve felt like I’ve been on pause. It’s been an interesting time, but it’s also been almost entirely internal. I think I’ve learned a lot about the way I work, and it’s been good, but I’ve been having an argument with myself for the past year about how this is not my life. Well, I could tell you all sorts of things about fear and retreat, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that I’m disappointed in myself. I never used to be a coward, and I think that now it’s time for me to start doing things that scare me. Just to keep my hand in, you understand.
I’m not sure what this all means yet, except I’m not going to be around for awhile. (I will be here, if you’re interested in seeing what I’m up to.) I’ll be back eventually (probably sooner than later), so, you know, leave the light on for me, huh?
