jamelah.net

(Am I the only person who always types “resluts” instead of “results”? Am I the only person who always finds it childishly amusing upon doing so? Resluts. That’s just nonsense.)

Righty-o.

Good evening. (I like to say that Alfred Hitchcock style, even when it’s morning, because I’m kooky.) Before I get to the point, I have to blather aimlessly for a little bit, but if you’ve been reading this website longer than a week (or have ever talked to me in real life), you already know that and will forgive me. It’s part of my charm. So. Blather:

I’m not really sure what possessed me to have a contest. Most likely the same spirit that possesses me to do a lot of the impulsive things I do, like getting into jewelry making, or making regrettable hair-dye choices (like the one time I turned my hair kind of orange, but only the top part, because for some reason I thought it needed more dye than the rest). But unlike how I felt after bad dye-jobs, I’m glad I had a contest. Contests are good and they make the world a better place. Much like the music of Neil Diamond, then.

Anyway, after I realized that most people are like me and enjoy waiting until the last minute to do things, I got over my initial fear that nobody was going to send me anything for my lovely and non-threatening contest. I must say that I’m pretty happy with the overall results, even though I have learned that I am really bad at judging others. I know that everybody says this to soften the blow, but it was actually quite difficult to pick a winner, especially since each story sent to me was rather unique in style, tone and subject matter. In other words, it was hard to compare them because they were all totally different.

So how did I pick? Well, after deciding that comparing the stories was utterly futile, I figured it was time to consult my most-trusted advisor. Yes, my magic 8 ball. This proved to be quite confusing, because when asked about each individual story, the magic 8 ball said that yes, 80% of the entrants should win. As much as it pained me to ignore the round plastic oracle’s well-meant advice, I knew I was going to have to go it alone. So back on the shelf went ol’ 8 ball, while I reread each of the stories, looking for the one that I reacted to the most. This got me narrowed down to two stories, with two others as interesting contenders.

But liking four stories does not one winner make, so then I remembered the fact that one of them made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to drown on a sip of water and also get fired. (Not that I read personal e-mail at work, because that is something I would never, ever do. Ever.) In fact, I’m laughing right now, just thinking about this story… perhaps because I myself am rather accident-prone and it’s always nice to know that I’m not the only one who manages to do such things. Therefore, I am pleased to announce that the winner of the first-ever jamelah.net contest is someone not actually named Marty, who is currently serving in the Middle East and sent me a rather harrowing tale of war.

Wait! There’s more! I have also chosen a runner-up and two honorable mentions, and I’ll be contacting them in a relatively reasonable amount of time about where to send their lovely parting gifts. These four stories are available for reading here. So go read them. (Be advised that clicking that link opens a new window… I love opening new windows.)

To everyone who sent me a story — thank you most sincerely. I was mostly looking to get something interesting to read that wasn’t spam, and you know, dreams do come true! We’ll have to do this again sometime… it’s been fun.

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