Jan 29 2007
fantasy vacation sweepstakes
(Minus the “sweepstakes” bit.)
This morning kicked my ass. It didn’t even pretend that it was doing anything other than kicking my ass, either, and by the time I got to work, I was ready to go back to bed. The day didn’t get much better, either, I guess because it was one of those hopelessly nondescript days that I’ve been having so many of lately, and monotony gets painfully tiresome after awhile. What’s that quotation from Goethe? “A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days” or something? I think so. I’m not a man, but I can say for sure that truer words were never put together into sentence form. (Today wasn’t a total loss, though, because I did technically take a shower with a pineapple, an activity so ridiculously odd that I probably laughed for a solid 10 minutes before settling into intermittent giggling.)
Whatever. There are worse things in life than being bored, and there are times when I even embrace boredom because it’s a welcome break from all the ridiculous drama I often find myself in, and will probably be finding myself in again soon enough because I am a drama magnet, but for now I mostly wish I were on vacation. I’m not on vacation, nor will I be anytime relatively soon (wah!) but a girl can dream. Fortunately, I have a very good imagination, and one of the things I like to do when I don’t feel like being where I am is to imagine myself somewhere else. I think everyone does this in one form or another; it’s what keeps us from going completely insane during staff meetings and conference calls. Because, as I said before, “Had the conference call existed in Dante’s day, you can bank on the fact that the 9th circle of Hell would’ve involved Satan sitting behind a desk, yelling into a speakerphone about damnation, while Judas, Brutus and Cassius stick pens in their eyes for all eternity.”
Exactly.
So hey, any suggestions for fabulous mental vacation destinations? Because this week is already proving itself to be not awesome at all (and it’s only Monday!), so I have a feeling that I may exhaust the old standbys by about 11:30 a.m. tomorrow. Neat.
Do you have a real vacation coming up? I have a real vacation coming up at the end of March and I’m actually going away, so it’s a real real vacation. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about my vacation and it’s really what keeps me going these days, that and the fact that one paycheck from my new part-time job will totally set me up in style while I’m on my real vacation.
So break out the Calgon and whisk yourself away.
No, I pretty much never have a real vacation coming up, though I did get a bunch of days off in November because I had quasi-bronchitis right around Thanksgiving, so that was pretty cool, I guess. I’m thinking that vacation-type things may happen in July or thereabouts, but July is so. far. away.
Well come to New York, dammit. Don’t make me come over there.
You are in Egypt. A great pyramid rises before you. Walk up the stone steps. Feel the cool air from the entrance. Enter. Go on, enter. Now descend into the chamber of secrets. The Scorpion King takes your hand.
“Do not be afraid,” he says, as scabrous beetle scuttle around your feet. See the gold artifact spread about in the torch-lit, dusty room. Have some Dannon Yogurt.
Now, awake!
You are home again. What is that in your pocket?
A gold coin!
Linus — Well, maybe this summer. Didn’t I say that last year? Yeah, I did, because I’m awesome. But no, really, maybe this summer. I wouldn’t make you come over here because it’s very cold and it won’t stop snowing and that would be mean.
Bill — Heheheh. Nice. Is “scabrous beetles” your phrase for the day? (Also I only eat Yoplait.)