Feb 23 2007
roundup
I don’t think I can possibly top the post I wrote yesterday so I’m not even going to try, which means that you get a list of the miscellaneous blog-fodder remnants lingering in my brain to lead you into the weekend. Enjoy.
1. Earlier this week I was at work, microwaving some Lean Cuisine and this guy I work with, whose name starts with the letter M, was making a sandwich. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, and I said, “I dunno.” So he asked if I wanted to go see The Vagina Monologues. If I ended it there, it would be funny enough, but there’s more! I said I was free on Friday, and he told me he was going with this former co-worker whose name starts with the letter P and is also a guy. I asked, “So, what? Did you guys need to take a girl so you’d have female cred?” and he said that no, it was that his girlfriend and her sister were performing in it, which, now that I think about it, really isn’t an answer to the question. Anyway, I said that okay, sure, I would go see The Vagina Monologues with two bearded dudes. Why not? So that’s what I’m doing tonight. It’s okay to be jealous. I wonder if I’ll get to sit in the middle.
2. Today, this man who I hate because he is an arrogant bastard came into my office and arrogantbastarded it up. So I flipped him off. Because I am a mature adult. I mean, I flipped off his retreating back while he was walking his arrogant bastard ass out the door. So I guess this means that I am a mature, if somewhat cowardly, adult.
3. I just want you to know that I absolutely cannot get the song “Black Betty” out of my head now. Oh, the pain I endure for you. I do it because I love you, but seriously, love hurts.
4. The other night I had a dream that this guy I used to know called me and left me a voicemail asking “Hey, remember that night we spent in Richmond in the Days Inn behind the Hooters?” That was pretty much the entire dream, and when I woke up I had to laugh because oh, how awesome were my early 20s?
5. In closing, have a good weekend, y’all. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, which pretty much leaves your options wide open.
you know you are my hero, don’t you?
I’ll never look at Days Inns the same way. So how was The Hoo-ha Monologues? I’ve never seen it; now I think I’m going to have to wait until it plays as “Hoo-ha” here before I go. Because, you know. The peepee mightier than the sword. Or something.
Kevin — I didn’t, but now that I do, I can finally die happy.
Linus — Yeah, didn’t it get changed to The Hoohah Monologues down in Florida or somewhere because someone found the word “vagina” offensive? God bless America. Anyway, it was a good show overall, I think. Sometimes poignant, sometimes powerful (though occasionally a bit heavy-handed), and very very often incredibly funny. At first it was awkward laughing at things, since I was sitting between two bearded dudes, but I got over it quickly and yeah, it was fun.