jamelah.net

Um, okay. So, this unemployment thing is pretty swell. I didn’t even get out of bed this morning until after I would’ve been at work on a typical day back when I had a job and all. That was pretty nice. I don’t want to get lazy, though, since next week when classes start, I’ll have to be there every day at 9 a.m. And what is the deal with that? I mean, who starts summer classes at 9 a.m.? I mean, I understand that we have to meet for four hours a day in order to jam a year of schooling into 10 weeks and all, but we could still meet later in the morning, like, say 11. If we met at 11, we’d be done by 3, which is still a highly reasonable time to be done with classes, because at 3 p.m., the day is still young. Or hey, how about noon? Noon to 4 would be alright, wouldn’t it? I think so. And seriously, I didn’t even take 9 a.m. classes when I was an undergrad. Stupid University of Michigan.

Anyway, I’m moving on Friday which is going to be totally awesome, really. And since I’m moving into a furnished sublet, I don’t have to worry about taking my bed with me or anything, so that’s nice. But while I was being a lazy ass in bed this morning, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about how much stuff I need to get done. Because Friday? It’s going to be here really soon.

Begin slightly-related aside: Have I ever told you my theory about time? It’s a very complex theory, and I think I’ve forgotten a lot of it, but the main point is that time, though measurable, is elastic. And sure, a minute is 60 seconds long, no matter how you look at it, and a minute is a minute is a minute. But the length of those 60 seconds changes depending on what you’re doing, and it is my belief that the main factor in deciding how long time really is is whether you are the master of your time or someone else is. And when someone else is the master of your time, then minutes last longer. For proof, look at a clock or your watch while you’re at work and then wait for what you think is an hour and a half before you allow yourself to look again. You’ll notice that it was actually only five minutes. But when you have your time to yourself, like on weekends or when you’re, say, unemployed, then time goes much faster. Three days can be over in an hour. This isn’t groundbreaking and I’m sure there are other people in the world with this theory, but still. I thought I’d share. End slightly-related aside.

And so, time being what it is, Friday is going to be here in, like, ten minutes and then I’m going to be all, “Fuck! I haven’t packed yet!” I decided that what I needed to do is make a list of the things I’m going to have to get done. And because putting things in public makes me more accountable, I’m going to put my list here. And and because I don’t have time to think of anything entertaining to write about because seriously my head is going to explode, you have no idea, uh, I’ll just update this post when I get things done. This is going to be amusing and exciting (no, really), and it also means that you feed subscribers are going to LOVE me this week.

Right-o. Here it is:

1. Must finish laundry. No more slacking.

2. Must buy those black sandals. Because I need more black shoes. (This is funny if you know about my shoes.)

OF COURSE this is the first thing I did on my list. Fold laundry? Eh. Buy shoes? Bring it. It just goes to show you that I have my priorities in order.

3. Buy toothpaste. No, seriously. I am out. I am about one day away from slicing it open with a razor blade and scraping it off the sides of the tube. That is so pathetic, I know.

Okay, actually my mom took pity on me and bought toothpaste for me.

4. Stop listening to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” so much so roommates won’t think I’m insane. They’ll have all summer to figure that out, so I don’t want to give it away the first week. Turn around, bright eyes. And I have it on this playlist that goes straight from that to Britney Spears singing “Toxic” and I feel crazy and full of joy. But mostly crazy. So I should probably stop listening to that one too.

Sure. I totally did that.

5. Spend some time figuring out which clothes are the important ones and which clothes I can leave at home, because I am not going to have room for them all. Like, I am probably not going to need velvet pants in July. Yes, I do own velvet pants. Shut up, they’re AWESOME.

I think I have this mostly sorted. Skirts, t-shirts, light sweaters, pants made out of things like linen or cotton: yes. Velvet pants, turtleneck sweaters and things made out of wool: no.

6. Clean out car. I did that yesterday, but like my uncle says, it’s always a good idea to have things on your list that you already did or that you’re going to do anyway, so that you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment.

7. How many houseplants do I need to take with me? I should figure this out.

I need to take two houseplants with me.

8. Buy a new blow dryer. Lately, mine has been shooting sparks. I don’t think this is a good sign and I’m kind of afraid it’s going to set my hair on fire, yet I keep using it.

9. Hug my dog a lot. I can’t take her with me (my mom is keeping her), and every time I think about this, I feel deeply sad. The fact that I can’t take her with me, not the part about my mom keeping her. Even though right now she is being a bossy cow. The dog, not my mom.

This dog has definitely been hugged numerous times.

10. Pack.

11. Buy books for class and get my damn student ID because I am so not going to have time to do this on Friday.

Complaint #1: Is it possible to have an ID photo taken in which one does not look like a mutant?
Complaint #2: Okay, two books and a couple of pens: $83. I have missed a lot of things about school, but the price of textbooks? Not so much.

12. Get all the crap I forgot to take home with me from work on Friday.

I am an idiot. I went up there yesterday and picked up my last check and then left all the stuff I was going to get while I was up there. So I had to go back and get it today. Awesome.

13. Freak out. Wait, no. Who am I kidding? Yes.

Oh, do I ever have this one taken care of.

14. Do something with all those review copies that are all over the couch. Like find some shelf space or sell them or something. So hey, anybody like reading galleys? Sometimes the typos are hilarious.

Done! I also have quite a few issues of Cosmo that are piling up… need to recycle them. And I will, I swear.

15. Find my glasses.

Small victories, kids. Small victories.

16. Find my other Burt’s Bees lip balm. I cannot live without that stuff.

Yay!

17. Clean out my purse. Good lord.

18. Photograph and list the last of my stuff that I haven’t listed yet on Etsy.

This probably isn’t going to happen so I’m just taking it off the list.

I’m really irritated with myself for not being able to make this an even 20, but I can’t think of 2 more things. I know that there are 2 more things (probably more than 2, honestly) but I’m a little sleepy right now and I’m not good at thinking of things when I’m sleepy. Or when I’m not sleepy, for that matter. Anyway, let the productivity begin. Stay tuned.

*Let’s have a really lame, pointless contest. Who am I quoting?

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