would you rather…
Here’s a game I like to play when I’m bored and I’m going to inflict it on you. Because that is what blogging is all about. Besides, it’s not like you’re not looking for ways to waste time at work today. Unless you’re me, because I’m working very hard.
So. Would you rather…
1. Have herpes or a peg leg?
2. Be trapped in the closet with R. Kelly or the midget?
3. Be a crack whore or an assistant crack whore?
4. Win a million dollars or wake up being insanely, flawlessly good looking?
5. Be famous for nothing (think Paris Hilton) or be brilliantly gifted yet nobody knows about it?
6. Be stuck in 1995 or 1795?
7. Be Indiana Jones or James Bond?
8. Eat nothing but cheese for a year or have to wear a giant chicken costume to work every day?
9. Be on Flavor of Love or A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila?
10. Have a roommate who constantly has loud fights on the phone or who constantly has loud sex?
11. Live in Antarctica or live in Hell? (Those are the only two places I can think of where the weather would be comparable opposites.)
12. Go on a roadtrip with your friends or significant other to someplace like… Lincoln, Nebraska or fly alone to Fiji?
13. Always be right or not be an asshole?
14. Be unable to listen to any song other than “London Bridge” by Fergie ever again for the rest of your life, and it’s, like, on repeat, or die?
15. Date David Lee Roth (current Diamond Dave, not 1984 Diamond Dave) or have a wardrobe made out of glittery spandex?
I ask you.
5 Comments so far
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1. Peg leg, because peg legs aren’t contagious.
2. This is a hard one, because the midget’s kind of a creepy perv in the movie, but R. Kelly is one in real life. I’ll go with Big Man. At least I could probably overpower him physically.
3. Assistant TO the Regional Crack Whore, thank you very much.
4. Million dollars. If I were insanely, flawlessly good looking, people would be intimidated by me. At least I can hide my wealth.
5. Brilliantly gifted. Fame is not that great.
6. 1995. I’m not all about housework.
7. Indiana Jones. They’re both manwhores, but I bet Indy has slightly fewer STDs.
8. I would like to wear a giant chicken costume to work every day, cheese or no cheese.
9. I’ve never watched either, but I’m more familiar with the premise of the former, so Flavor of Love.
10. I guess the sex would at least be a positive thing to be surrounded by all the time (unless it was angry sex).
11. I bet there are fun people in Hell.
12. Roadtrip. Otherwise I would have to eat alone in Fijian restaurants and that makes me sad.
13. I am already always right AND an asshole, so this one’s decided.
14. I haven’t heard that Fergie song in a while, so I’m going to go with that. Give me an hour or so and I might change my mind.
15. GLITTERY SPANDEX!
1. A peg leg. Almost as cool as a hook hand!
2. I think the midget, because he has asthma and we could totally bond over that so it wouldn’t be awkward.
3. Assistant. I don’t want all that responsibility.
4. The million. You can buy the insanely flawless good looks.
5. Brilliantly gifted for the same reason srah said!
6. 1995 - I could do it better the second time around, awkward teen years aside.
7. Indiana Jones, for the archaeological factor (nerd alert!!).
8. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese, how I love thee! (I studied in France, it’s just whatcha do)
9. Equally deplorable, but I’d go with Flav because just looking at Tila will give you an STD.
10. Loud fights on the phone. I’m WASPily repressed!
11. Antarctica - cute penguins and sea creatures! There will be time enough for Hell later on, anyway.
12. Roadtrip with friends. We make cornfields fun!
13. I like learning, so I wouldn’t want to always be right.
14. Death. Cold, cold death. She is foul beyond all measure.
15. Glittery spandex for serious. Forever!
1. Peg leg
2. The midget. I may end up getting head-butted in the junk, but at least I won’t get peed on by a rapping urinator.
3. Crack whore. Playing second fiddle to a crack whore would be too destructive to my fragile ego.
4. Million bucks. Heh, I’m already … oh, forget it.
5. Gifted, unknown.
6. 1995. I’m a fan of plumbing.
7. Indiana Jones. Nice hat.
8. Chicken costume. Nothing against cheese, but seriously…all things in moderation, whereas a guy in a chicken costume is always a harbinger of good times.
9. I’d rather eat glass.
10. Fights.
11. Antarctica.
12. Roadtrip. Well, actually, it depends on the friends.
13. Not be an asshole. Heh, I’m already always … oh, forget it, again.
14. The sweet release of death.
15. Spandex. For the good times. *cue easy-listening medley*
1. Peg leg.. No wait. I can’t imagine having a peg leg. Dear Lord. K, I seriously can’t choose.
2. Midget. Pervert rapists aren’t really my thing.. Not that midgets are.. You get my point.
3. Crack whore.. I guess. I don’t like the whole ‘assistant’ dealio.
4. It isn’t a fair question when you already have one of the options.. (.. I’m a millionaire..)
5. I feel like brilliantly gifted is the right answer, but seriously, Paris Hilton has FUN dude. I choose that.
6. 1995. Cause 1795? I don’t even think the world existed then.
7. I’ve never seen any of either movies.. Soo I’ll choose Indiana cause that ride at Universal is wicked. (At least it was the last time I rode it.. When I was 9..)
8. Hahaha. While the idea of me wearing a chicken costume to my ultra professional office makes me want to drop to the floor and die laughing. I’ll have to live off cheese. I wouldn’t have a job in a chicken suit.
9. Shot at Love.. Cause, uh, I like girls? And though Tila is an idiot, there’d be other girls to hiiiit on.
10. Loud fights I think. Constant loud sex? Nah. Loud fights are gossip material.
11. Hell. There would actually be people there. The parties would be wicked. And I’d have a killer tan.
12. ROADTRIP. And then we’d pretend Nebraska was Fiji.
13. Not be an asshole. I’m up for learning/making fun of myself when I’m le wrong.
14. I’ll always choose living over death. I’d just have to find understanding friends that wouldn’t be bothered by my constant “Fergie Ferg gunna love you long time!” reminders.
15. Are you kidding? I would KILL for my entire wardrobe to be glittery spandex!
1. The Big H (you didn’t spec out Oral or Genital) because it comes and it goes. Peg legs are forever baby and then there’s the termite factor.
2. I’ll take the midget thank you very much.
3. Assistant? No, under those circumstances I would have to think it would be better to be able to call the shots.
4. Insanely, flawlessly good-looking. The world is a different place for beautiful people. People throw money at beautiful people so there would be the potential for much more than a million.
5. I personally like the brilliantly gifted thing myself. I never got the whole Paris Hilton thing.
6. 1995. Too much unrest in 1795.
7. Bond… James Bond (but really the Sean Connery one because he was the coolest).
8. I’ll take the cheese - there’s lots of different cheeses and that chicken costuem would get very played quickly.
9. I haven’t seen the latter and I know the former doesn’t swing both ways so it would be over very, very fast. I think it would be the shortest appearance ever on reality TV which would suit me just fine.
10. The loud sex thing, there’s always the potential for easy action.
11. Hell, because I really hate the cold.
12. Roadtrip, because roadtrips with friends are always memorable and it’s the company that makes the time fun.
13. Not be an a-hole.
14. RIP
15. Glittery spandex. Even though I think it would be making the rest of you suffer more than I’d be suffering.