at least 4,000 times today

In self-portraiture, we tend to want to make ourselves look good. This isn’t an all-the-time thing, of course, but I know my own tendency is to stay away from the photos of myself wherein I look like some kind of mutant. Is that vanity? OH WELL SUE ME.


But I guess it’s pretty safe to say that the above photo isn’t the most flattering picture I’ve ever taken of myself. What IS that expression on my face? Does it mean that I’ve just smelled something terrible? Maybe that’s also what it means, but what it tends to mean is that I’m just so irritated and I don’t want to DEAL anymore. And then (I won’t lie), often — but not always — if I say anything after this expression has crossed my face, my voice comes out a little bit (or a lot) on the whiny side. Yes. Sometimes I whine. It happens. And then when I’m done, I go do whatever it is that I don’t want to do, because I might as well get it over with, and complaining isn’t going to make it go away. I think this is one of the parts about being an adult that’s really uncool, you know? Because even though adults thrown tantrums all the time (boy, do they EVER), you really lose your free pass to stomping your feet and yelling “NO!” after the age of, I don’t know, let’s say 5.

This is just one of the reasons why getting older than 5 is, in many ways, totally overrated.


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