all is well

Sorry about the unintentional cancer cliffhanger. It’s just that for the past week, I haven’t had a minute of free time, other than to sleep at night, so I wasn’t able to drop in and write anything. It turns out that I don’t have cancer, which is an incredible relief. The funny thing about it is that I felt pretty okay about the whole process leading up to getting the biopsy results, in that I looked at it as a series of tasks. First, I have to get the mammogram and ultrasound, and then next I have to meet with the surgeon, and after that, I have to have the lump removed, and then I have to go back and find out the answer. I didn’t think I was particularly worried, but on the day I was to get the biopsy results, my appointment wasn’t until 4 in the afternoon, so I went to work like normal. I figured it would just be a regular day, except I’d get to leave early to drive to my appointment. It turned out, however, that by noon that day I was basically nothing more than a ball of anxiety, and it got worse and worse so that by the time the appointment came around, I felt like my heart was going to explode. It turns out that I wasn’t as cool with the possibility on the table as I’d told myself I was. Fortunately, the doctor is a nice man who got the results out of the way as soon as he entered the exam room and closed the door. The anxiety disappeared instantaneously, and I was able to focus on having a conversation with the doctor. No cancer, no signs of anything potentially troubling. Hurrah! However, if anything like this ever happens again, I will have to go back through this entire process of testing and surgery. When the doctor delivered this news, he said, “I hope I never have to see you again.” And yes. It’s been swell, but I hope I don’t ever have to go back either.

One thing I’ve learned, though, and it is important to note: if you ever have to schedule an appointment with a doctor to receive potentially troubling news, it’s best to schedule that appointment at the beginning of the day instead of the end. Just get it out of the way, instead of having to think about it all day long. Your blood pressure will thank you.

The reason I’m just getting to this update now, nearly a week after the fact, is because I’m in a play. I have a small role in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I used to do plays all the time, then I stopped, and now I’m doing this one. I don’t know what the future holds for me in terms of performing, but it’s been fun, mostly. More fun than not. But while I remembered the fact that plays are a lot of work to put on, I remembered it more conceptually than actually, which means that this past week, with the rehearsals every night and barely any time to get out of work and eat before having to be at the theater, has been an adventure. There’s a reason people refer to production week as hell week. I am tired. But after this afternoon’s performance, I get a break until next Thursday, for which I am extremely grateful. Last night after the show, I put on a hat to cover my four-pounds-of-hairspray hairstyle and went out with my stage makeup on because I needed some groceries for the coming week. I bought perishable food items, because for at least a couple of nights, I will be home to cook. I miss cooking.

(My friends have been extraordinarily helpful during this time, dropping by and feeding Sweet Pea and letting her outside. I really do have the best friends.)

So anyway, I have to get some things done before I have to head to the theater this afternoon, which means I’ll quit typing and go do those things. It’s springtime in Michigan. The lilacs are in bloom and I have stolen some, as per my annual tradition. I’m in a play. I don’t have cancer. Indeed, all is well.