forty two

Welp, here we are again.

Whatever rule I made up in my head back when I was younger that I needed to do this when I was freshly-minted in my new age came from a time when I was more able to stay awake past 10. I am precisely as tired as I look.

It’s been nearly a year since the last time I updated this site, and at this point I honestly don’t know why I still have a personal blog, because I am clearly not motivated to maintain it, but anyway, hey, it’s my birthday once again.

I don’t know that I have a lot that I want to write about — it’s been a year of being home a lot. Last year’s Covid-induced change from having an hour-ish-long drive to an office building every day to having a minutes-long walk to my home office upstairs became permanent, and though I will never miss the I-94 Bermuda Triangle of whythefuckarewestopping, I do find myself missing having somewhere to go for lunch besides my kitchen.

It’s such a small, generally unimportant thing, especially in the midst of everything else going on in the world, but I miss going out for lunch sometimes.

It’s also been a year of some sad things I don’t feel like putting on the internet, but this past summer has — though there were some really fun high points — overall been a bit of a slog. Alas. But in between some things that happened that bummed me out and the surge of the Delta variant, I did go to California just to get away.

I genuinely can’t recommend having the wind knocked out of you by a mountain view enough. That, and listening to the ocean.

Listening to the ocean is very, very good.

Anyway, now I guess I’m in my 40s for real. Still in the early ones until 44, but today I was reminded that 30 years ago is when Smells Like Teen Spirit came out and I felt some part of myself turn to dust. My understanding is that this sort of thing will continue happening indefinitely, when the things you remember about your youth are suddenly more than twice as old as you were when you first experienced them. I mean, I know that’s just math, but also, getting older is just fucking weird sometimes, man. I mean, one of the highlights of the year was definitely getting a new dryer, and I say that without any irony at all — it’s a really nice dryer, and I do a lot of laundry so when my old one broke, it was pretty great to be able to get a new one, even if the process took 7 weeks and at one point involved having delivery people show up with someone else’s appliances that they then had to leave with — so I guess this means I’m entering a new phase in life called Yep, Definitely Over 40.

I don’t have predictions for what 42 will be like. I mean, last year at this time I definitely didn’t imagine that I’d spend a not insignificant amount of time reading about people voluntarily eating horse paste, but considering the trajectory of absolutely everything these days, I can’t even say that I’m surprised. More than anything, I hope that maybe I can start being less of a hermit again — this is a lot coming from actually-rather-hermity me — and I’ll have more material to work with besides 1. work lunch, 2. bummers, 3. new appliances, but I think at this point I’ll just see what happens.


2 thoughts on “forty two

  1. Yay you! It’s always wonderful when you do write though even though it may be infrequent. Welcome to your forties! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! While we’ve all suffered through with assaults on our lives the important thing to remember is always tomorrow lies ahead of us and we have the power to make of it what we will. Hope this coming year is much better for you than the last!


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