What my face looks like when I am trying to convince myself to be in a good mood and failing
(I put on glittery eyeshadow in an attempt to mood boost.)
So far it hasn’t been a great month. We lost power in a storm a couple of weekends ago which turned out okay except for the inside of my house being 40 degrees for a couple of days, and also the boredom. Turns out electricity is clutch when it comes to doing much of anything, though I did finish a book (Women’s Hotel by Daniel Lavery, which was a solidly good read but for some reason it took me 4 months to complete it). One electricity-free night, I went to a theater audition. I had read the script a few weeks prior and loved it. Auditions were busy but I felt really good upon leaving, though I ultimately didn’t get cast. This actually breaks my 30-year streak of being cast in every play I’ve auditioned for since 9th grade, which turns out to be liberating in that, well, now that’s over, but also I had been looking forward to something to do, alas.
One thing I have read a lot about lately is the importance of community. I have read about the importance of having community to rely on when times are tough in a socioeconomic sense, about having community to do things you enjoy, about having community even to help ward off neurological decline as you age. And I don’t have community, not really. I live in a small town, and while I have friends, they all live in other towns, and it takes at least three weeks and several text messages before ever being able to agree on a time to see each other, before potentially canceling and then going back and forth for an additional several days about a different time to get together before either having success or just giving up and trying again in a few months. I love my friends but I cannot borrow a cup of sugar from them in a pinch or use their shower when I haven’t had electricity at my house for several days.
I mean I probably could but I might have to schedule my problems three weeks in advance. Maybe it’s like that for everyone. Maybe everyone is hanging out without me.
If community is the thing that gets us through, I am anxious about my chances, not gonna lie.
Maybe I shouldn’t post when I’m in a mood, or maybe I should post regardless of my mood, but it sure would be nice if everything didn’t feel so unrelentingly bleak lately.
Grand plans
How about an abrupt change of subject?
(Or is it?)
Back in March, which to be honest feels like it was at least seven years ago, I had a half-baked idea about reviving my blog with a poem a day for National Poetry Month, which is now. But then no power/internet. And then I kinda forgot. So I don’t know if I will do a poem a day for the remainder of the month, but I will at least do this today (from Poetry Foundation):
