jamelah.net

What’s going on?

A lot, actually. I don’t write much, or ever, I don’t think, about the fact that my mom has Alzheimer’s. Mostly because she euphemistically refers to it as short-term memory problems, or “oh, you know how my brain works” and I have largely felt like I should be mindful of the fact that she never calls it by name and therefore not put it on blast on the internet, but at the same time, for the last several years, that’s been the thing that has affected my life the most. Having a parent who has a terminal illness that is slowly destroying their memories is… well, I don’t know how else to put it except to say that it fucking sucks. But I know that I’m not the one it sucks for the most.

My grandmother died of Alzheimer’s nearly a decade ago, and about a year and half later my mom started showing signs (and yes, I do think regularly about whether or not I have a genetic timebomb waiting to eat my brain, thanks). My mom’s trajectory over the past seven-ish years has been somewhat similar to my grandmother’s and also entirely her own. I don’t have a lot to say about it today. In fact, the only reason I’m mentioning it at all is because we’ve been cleaning out her house recently (she’s fine, she just moved) and oh boy, cleaning out your childhood home IS A TRIP.

I will DEFINITELY have more to say about that process in the future but for now I will just say that lately it has been busy and weird.

In that regard, lately is like… the rest of the time, really.

Anyway, last week was spring break for the kiddos and we took the youngest to Chicago where we each got to pick an activity. (Chosen activities included a trip to Shedd Aquarium, the Field Museum, and IT’SSUGAR. I’ll leave you to guess who picked what.) We had a good time! The photo above is Sue the T-Rex.

Reading

I finished Evil Eye, which is about an artist/wife/mom who is part of the Palestinian diaspora. It turned out to be a timely read, though that wasn’t why I picked it. It is a lovely book about finding your way. I related to the narrator somewhat in some of her descriptions about being an Arab woman in the world, and in other ways I didn’t relate at all, but it’s a good story. At points, everybody in the book is frustrating, which made me want to reach inside the book and shake people occasionally. I guess that’s a sign that the author created human characters. I liked the book but didn’t love the book, but I think it’s worth reading.

I finally decided to give Demon Copperhead a go, even though a re-telling of David Copperfield except in Appalachia and touching on the opioid epidemic didn’t sound like a terribly good time. I will admit that my only readings of Dickens have been in school and I never really enjoyed them, though I do enjoy watching actresses go into full scenery-chewing mode when playing Miss Havisham in film versions of Great Expectations. (I don’t really like Great Expectations much as a story, though.) Anyway, this book is FUCKING BRILLIANT and I don’t know why I waited so long because I know that Barbara Kingsolver is really really good at what she does. So much of the material was so heavy and sad, but Demon is such a great narrator that his voice keeps it going, at times frenetically. Beautifully done.

Also I finished listening to the audiobook of Tom Lake before March. Congratulations to me.

My current car audiobook is A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. I’ll be returning to commuting some of the time, starting this month. My feelings about this development are… mixed. But I guess I’ll have more time to listen to books, so. Yeah.

Previously On…

In my last post I wrote about getting a Maleficent plush toy as a gift from the youth pastor back in my previous life as someone who worked in youth ministry, and while doing the aforementioned cleaning out of my mom’s house, I came across the card that explained why (if you can’t read the handwriting, I transcribed it in the alt text):

So there’s that!

Some people say that I’m bossy, but there it is, in someone else’s writing: I have Leadership Skills. So there.

Anyway, things are going to stay busy and weird for awhile, but spring is springing and all my daffodils are up and many are open. Not sure when I’ll get back to this — promising weekly was obviously a stretch — but I’ll be back to thrill you with my thoughts about making my own yogurt (yes, I’m making my own yogurt now) soon enough. Cheers.