i made cherry salsa. you won’t believe what happened next!

That was my attempt at a ridiculous click-bait title. Did it work? Should I start writing headlines for Upworthy? Ahem.

So, one of my co-workers decided that we should have a salsa day at work sometime in the summer when there was lots of fresh produce to choose from, and we should all make awesome salsa. Somehow, this morphed into a salsa-making contest, and while I am one of the most competitive people alive, I prefer my salsa-eating to be done in the warm glow of my love of salsa, and not to be all about winning. But then, having a competition is okay, because did I mention that I am one of the most competitive people alive?

I am.

More competitive than you, anyway.

See? I can’t stop myself.

Back on track. So, yesterday, I took stock of the produce in my fridge, and thought about what might make a good salsa and decided on the bag of cherries. I decided I would also need some other stuff, so I went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon (after going to Target with my mom to pick up a vacuum cleaner because have I ever mentioned that my life is basically a non-stop excitement-fest? IT IS) and bought a jalapeño and a yellow bell pepper and some shallots. Then I came home and commenced to salsa-making. And since I’ve been asked for a recipe, and I didn’t have a recipe because I like just making things up and recipes aren’t the boss of me, I’m going to attempt to write one. So, here goes:

1 pound of fresh cherries (Maybe, or maybe a half pound. Some amount of cherries, anyway, enough so that when you have them all chopped up you say “Yeah, that’s plenty.)
3 shallots
4 cloves garlic
1 medium yellow bell pepper
1 large jalapeño
8-10 fresh basil leaves
1 lemon, juiced
sea salt (to taste)
fresh black pepper (to taste)
cumin (to taste)

So, you start with your cherries:


I pitted them by slicing them in half, twisting them open, then removing the pits. I realize there are much easier ways of doing this.

Then chop the ever-loving hell out of the cherries:

Yes, that is a Fitbit. Combine walking with statistics and I am in love.
Yes, that is a Fitbit. Combine walking with statistics and I am in love.

Chop the shallots:


You could also use a sweet onion; I just thought that the flavor of the shallots would work well. And it did.

Mince some garlic:


You can use more garlic if you want. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life.

I didn’t take a photo of the yellow bell pepper, but dice that somewhere around now.

Finely dice a jalapeño. Seed it if you don’t want heat, but go seeds and all if you do. You are free to use more than one (if I were to make this again, I think I would):


Chiffonade your basil leaves:


To do this, put all your leaves in a stack, roll them like a cigarette, then slice. Use a very sharp knife. (Which I didn’t, and the leaves are bruised.) I recommend sharpening your knife several times during the slicing and dicing process. It makes life so much easier.

Roll a lemon on your cutting board or countertop, then slice in half. Squeeze the juice (over a colander to catch the seeds) into your salsa. You can also use a juicer if you want, but I like to make juice with my bare hands. Just because I don’t have a juicer.

Add salt, pepper, and cumin (with cumin, a little goes a long way). And you have salsa, baby.

Winning the salsa contest at work is the next step (optional).




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